Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
