i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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