i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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