these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
