i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
