Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
