Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
