is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
