He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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