Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
