There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
