I must be too annoying 4 u.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
