you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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