I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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