all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
