My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
