sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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