i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
