im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
