Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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