Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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