There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
