Me. At least after what I've been through.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
