Soap is not a condiment
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
