I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
