I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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