loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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