You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
