seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
