Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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