Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
