I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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