people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize