put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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