Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
