You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
