woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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