So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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