tell your sister to shave her snatch
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
