If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am midnight drunk by noon
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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