Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
