I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
