So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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