Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
