farters have to be the big spoon...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
