Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
