Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
