Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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