just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
