Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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